Post by Blaire on Sept 26, 2005 6:59:13 GMT -5
Title: Down With Santa
Author: Blaire023
Rating: Pg13/Humor
Summary: Chloe gets into a confrontation with a mall Santa.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the WB and DC. Kris Kringle probably belongs to someone else too. But I control the strings, mwahahaha, dance puppets, DANCE!
Archival: FF.net, N-S.net, S&D, and Bald Truth 2. If you want it, take it. You don't have to ask me.
Part 1: Holiday Fever
Chloe rolled her eyes as Lana pulled up short at another shop window. No matter that she'd nearly run into her half a dozen times, following too closely behind, and no matter Lana had yet to find the perfect Christmas present for her boyfriend, Jason. Chloe was partly surprised at Lana's about-face. One second she'd been cool and calculating, the next they were at one of the largest malls in the nation, and Lana had reverted back to her old ways. She'd even spotted the brunette sighing wistfully over a pale pink sweater. Chloe had promptly taken action and pulled her as far away from the offensive garment as possible.
And now she was tired. Tired of walking around four flights of shops. Tired of window shopping for Lana and not being able to actually go into the shops to do any shopping of her own. The trip to Metropolis had been planned, just poorly. They were supposed to be catching up on lost time. Chloe'd been presumed dead for a little over three months, and Lana'd been away in Paris over the summer. Both of their lives had had a dramatic impact on each of them. For instance, Chloe soon came to realize that she couldn't depend on her friends, and while she'd been in touch with Lex, he'd still kept his distance, and she'd had to fend for herself. She'd matured quickly and within a week had been twice as self sufficient.
Lana, however, claimed to have matured, and Chloe could still remember the first and last comment she'd made about Jason to Lana. They'd been sitting in Lana's room above the Talon after some bizarre situation where she, Lana and her cousin, Lois, had all been possessed, and Chloe had commented on why Clark was always the center of everyone's attention, when Jason was just as good looking. Lana had shrugged and smiled and moved busily about the room putting away supplies that looked like they'd been used in the spell that had caused said possession. It was no secret to Lana that Chloe had lost her virginity the summer before last when she'd gone to Metropolis. But Chloe was more than surprised that Lana and Jason hadn't been intimate. Lana claimed that they were intimate, just not having sex. Chloe had snorted out loud. Poor Jason.
As Lana led her into yet another shop, something twinkling caught Chloe's eye. Her head turned in the same direction and she found herself staring over at the mall's 15 foot Christmas tree, complete with ornaments the size of her fist and blinking lights tangled around each limb. But it was the red and white striped candy canes that snagged her interest. Chloe's stomach growled as she eyed the sweet treat. There wasn't a coffee shop anywhere near their corner of the mall, and she feared chocolate wouldn't hit the same spot a nice minty candy cane would. Mmmm, sugar. Lana was still rambling when the loud speaker sounded.
"The Mall will be closing in fifteen minutes." crackle, crackle. "Please collect your purchases and make your way to the nearest checkout, and Thank you for Shopping at The Metropolitan Mall. Located right in the heart of the world's biggest little city, Metropolis." Chloe winced as she heard Lana's shriek from inside the sports shop she'd wandered off into.
"It's perfect!" Chloe turned around to see Lana running straight for the checkout lady, who wore a look of horror on her face at the exuberant on-coming brunette.
Chloe stood patiently outside the sporting goods store, waiting for Lana and occasionally letting her gaze drift over to where the last of the kids in line to see Santa were quickly dropped on the fat guy's lap and were rushed to spit out what they wanted for Christmas. She could hear each 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' as Santa asked whether each individual child had been naughty or nice. Each jolly jiggle of his belly more forced than the last. And all the while Chloe felt bad for the big guy. Although he was probably earning a decent wage. The guy had to get peed on atleast once a day from frightened, or overexcited children. He had to get better than the minimum pay.
Chloe was still mentally debating the pros and cons of seasonal work when Lana came out of the store with her shopping bag held high. "I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner."
Chloe turned toward the excited brunette with arched brows. "Whadya get?"
Lana lowered the bag and opened it with a flourish. "A football!"
Chloe felt the grin tug at the corners of her mouth and tried to hold back a laugh. Poor Jason, indeed. Instead of commenting on the lack of originality for the present she tilted her head toward the towering Christmas tree. "Think I'd have to sit on Santa's lap for a candy cane?"
Lana followed the direction of her eyes and shrugged. "I don't know, why?"
Chloe grinned at her mischieviously and trudged ahead, following the winding rope path to get to the end of the shortened line. When she caught up with the end of it, there were two kids in front of her. The little boy standing beside his mom right in front of her turned around and eyed her owlishly. "You're too big to see Santa." He gasped.
Chloe shook her head. "You're never to big to see Santa, and besides, I just want the candy cane."
The mother in front of her put her hand on her child's head and redirected his attention back to where Santa was. Chloe shifted from foot to foot, impatiently waiting for her turn to tell the mall Santa what she wanted for Christmas.
After ten long minutes she was finally up next. Chloe gaped in disbelief as the guy in the Santa suit stood up and turned his back on her. When his elves started packing up she stomped her foot and cupped her hands around her mouth. "What about me?"
Santa turned around and looked at her, then after confering with his minions waved her forward. He sat back down with a sigh and pat his knee. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" He ground out between clenched teeth. "What would you like for Christmas...."
Chloe cut him off with her hand chopping through the air beside her face. "Nuh, uh. First off, you're Santa, so get rid of the attitude. Secondly, there's no way in the north pole I'd sit on your lap, and thirdly, you didn't even ask if I've been naughty or nice." Under her breath she added, "Imposter."
Santa Claus stood up and brushed the legs of his red velvet pants with his white gloves, then leaned in toward the blonde chick in front of him. "You listen to me, you little snot nosed brat. I've been here since 6 am, I've got a fat suit on under two pounds of thickly lined velvet because pillows just don't cut it anymore. I've had kids cough on me, cry on me, throw up on me, freak out on me, and at least once a day I get pissed on. So why don't you and your flighty little friend," He pointed over to where Lana was standing with her millions of shopping bags and a patented blank smile on her face, "get the hell out of my mall and go bother some other Santa Claus." After he finished growling out his sentence Chloe glared right back at him and without thinking about it her hand whipped out and she pulled his glasses off his face. Holding them out of his reach, she grinned evilly at him.
"All I want is a candy cane, I've been here since the mall opened this morning, I've been dragged through every store here, atleast twice, while my flighty little friend," She pointed with the stolen spectacles over at Lana, "has rambled on and on about how blow jobs don't count as losing your virginity. Do I care if she swallows? No! Do I care about how great her boyfriend is and that I'm *still* alone? No! Do I care if she finds her wonderful boyfriend who loves her so much he doesn't mind if she doesn't give him a peice of ass the best fucking Christmas gift ever? NO! I can't say I do. All day I've been walking, dodging old people with walkers, mothers in strollers who can give a shit less if they run over your toes with their fifty pound toddler riding shotgun, and doing my damndest at pulling little miss slut-slut away from everything and anything pink since it's now the new black. Do I look like a woman who needs to take shit from a stupid little mall Santa Claus? NO!!!!" Chloe's tirade ended on a whoosh of breath. She knew from experience her face was bright red, and by the way the Santa imposter was staring at her, she knew her face was as red as his velvet lined outfit. She tossed him his glasses, and then sucked in a deep breath, "Now give me a fucking candy cane!"
The Santa stared at her for a few seconds before shaking his head and muttering under his breath about crazy broads. Chloe watched in ire inspired awe as he lightly shoved an elf out of his way. "I'm not getting paid enough for this crap." He grumbled and Chloe saw red. He wasn't just ignoring her and her rant. He wasn't going to give up the candy cane. Chloe felt her nostrils flare as rage consumed her and she flew at the Santa, knocking him down and into a stack of presents almost as tall as herself. The empty cardboard boxes, wrapped with Christmasy paper came tumbling down on top of them. She got a hold of a boot buckle just as something hard smacked her in the back of her head. She heard voices, but barely over her own harsh breathing as she grabbed for a velvet pantleg and pulled hard, bringing the Santa down on top of her and a few empty boxes. A bow poked her in the eye and a black boot swung out at her just as she raised her hands in front of her face. A second later Chloe was hauled up out of the mess by the back of her shirt. Her arms still swinging at the Santa standing only a few feet away from her.
"Chloe." An arm wrapped around her stomach and lifted her off her feet, the momentum carrying her backward with the solid body still behind her. "Chloe."
"Let me at him." She mumbled then when she saw the Santa look up at her she screamed, "GIVE ME MY CANDY CANE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"
Lex's warm breath fanned across her ear as he laughed softly behind her. She sure did have a mouth on her. "Chloe, stop it, you're kicking me."
Her heel struck his shin again and she craned her head around to look back at the person holding her captive. Her hazel eyes connected with gray-blue ones and she felt the heat drain from her face. "Shit." She groaned and closed her eyes even as Lex laughed again.
"CRAZY BITCH!"
Chloe's eyes popped back open at the sound of the harrassed Santa's voice.
"I'M GONNA HAVE YOU ARRESTED!"
Chloe groaned again and settled down, allowing Lex to gently lower her feet to the floor. When she had calmed he kept on arm across her stomach and leaned his chin on her shoulder, putting his face right beside hers. "Should I call my lawyer?"
Chloe squeezed her eyes shut and grumbled under her breath and Lex decided he had never laughed as much in one day as he had in all his life.
Part 2: Holly Jolly Holidays
Chloe sat completely quiet in the passenger seat of Lex's porsche. She really wanted to ask him about a million questions about the hot ass ride she was currently seated in, and would eventually like to weedle a test drive out of him, but she figured he'd done more for her tonight than anyone ever had. After being led to the Metropolis Mall Security's office, Lex and Lana had had to wait outside while she was grilled about why she had attacked Santa in the first place.
Which had been incredibly embarrassing when she'd started to list the possible reasons why she had had experienced temporary insanity. Of course Lex had agreed with her prior to her questioning by security that shopping with Lana could indeed make any number of people insane. He still couldn't understand how a candy cane had ended up being the reason for her slip up, but the fact that he could still hear her mumbling under her breath about the damn candy cane's mocking her, brought a smile to his face, which he deftly tried to hide.
"What are you smiling about?"
Lex breathed in through his nose and pressed his lips together, shaking his head. "The candy cane's mock you?"
Chloe grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. "They do. All I asked for was a candy cane and all of a sudden Santa tries to molest me."
Lex had in fact seen most of the exchange leading up to the wrestling match and he had heard her tell Santa he was a pervert, something about sitting on his lap. Lex could feel his cheek muscles getting a work out as he tried to keep a straight face.
Silence fell between them once again and Lex had just managed to control his quivering lips when Chloe sighed and leaned her head against the cool window pane of the passenger's side door. "I hate the holidays."
Lex arched a brow and said nothing. He didn't like them that much either. For one, his family wasn't exactly like the Norman Rockwell paintings. His father had always been away on business and his mom had filled in the holes. After her death, any holiday or birthday seemed completely empty. And secondly, he hated shopping. He didn't have many people to shop for, but the ones he did, weren't very close to him. Lex kept quiet as he heard Chloe shift in her seat. Her sigh nearly echoed through the confined interior of his road toy.
Lex breathed in slowly through his nose, inhaling her perfume. His mouth watered, a pavlovian experience he had nearly every time he stood too close to her. Lex glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, was partially amused, and slightly frightened at the half smile she was aiming his way.
"What?"
Chloe let her grin widen and kept her gaze steadily on Lex. "What do you want for Christmas, Lex?"
Lex narrowed his eyes on the road thoughfully. "I want a lot of things, Chloe."
Chloe uncrossed her legs, leaning towards him in her seat. "Know what I want?"
The muscles in his abdomen tightened, as well as the muscles in his thighs. "Sure."
Chloe smiled candidly and folded her hands in her lap. "You won't laugh?"
Lex arched a brow and looked over at her playfully. "Would you like to me guess?"
Chloe sat quietly for a moment before looking out the window. "If I could get one thing for Christmas, no strings attached, I'd ask for Lana to go back to Paris."
She held her breath, waiting for Lex to start asking questions. When he did nothing she chanced looking over at him, was surprised to find him pursing his lips in silence. The look of concentration on his face stirred something in her. She felt compelled to explain herself. "It's not that I don't like Lana. She's a great girl. But when she's around it just feels like something's holding me back. Like I'm suffocating. Like I'm drowning in a sea of a million shades of pink."
Lex tried not to laugh as her voice raised, as her arms swept out, as her ramblings went even further.
"Pink." Chloe shook her head and stared out the window, her hands both fisted tightly on her lap. "Fucking pink. Oh, I'm too good for pink. I'm gonna wear black. And then do you know what she told me earlier?" Lex realized this was a rhetorical question and chose to only clench his jaw shut even tighter. His cheekbones were already starting to ache. "Pink is the new black." Chloe turned her whole body to face his and grabbed at her hair, pulling gently but firmly. "Pink is the new black? Pfffffft!"
Lex couldn't hold it in anymore. With the derisive sound she had just made, he let loose and laughed, loudly. Chloe jerked back in her seat and stared. When Lex was finished he shook his head. Chloe stared at him openly, gawking at him. "You're even crazier than she is."
Lex looked over at her and nodded. "You really want Lana to go back to Paris?"
Chloe sighed and leaned her head back on the head rest of the seat, closing her eyes and concentrating on a soft hum of the tires on the road. The soft purr of the engine as they drove. "More than anything on the face of the Earth."
Lex grinned to himself. He could probably have that arranged.
***
Chloe stared at Lana as she threw her things into two suitcases, both black with pink zippers. "I thought you said art school wasn't your thing."
Lana twirled around and squealed. "I know. I didn't think it was either." In went another pair of black boots and a black top. "But they called me and told me that my art was so good that they were putting it on display in this museum. They want me to come back to school, and I told them I couldn't really afford it and they said it was on a scholarship."
Chloe's eyes had glazed over when Lana had begun to speak. Just the natural twill and nasal tone of her voice sometimes caused Chloe to black out hour long conversations. "That's amazing."
Lana nodded as she giggled and came toward Chloe to pull her into a hug. "I know it's Christmas morning, but the school administrators said I have to be there as soon as possible or the scholarship will go to someone else." Lana pulled back and smiled, tears shining in her big round eyes. "I'm going to miss this place." She hugged Chloe again. "I'm going to miss you."
Chloe rolled her eyes over Lana's shoulder and smiled as Jason walked into the room. "We're late as it is, come on."
Lana zipped up both of her suitcases and tied a pink sweater around her waist. "I left some things behind, help yourself." Then her bottom lip started to tremble and Chloe fought the urge to bolt out of the nearest exit. She had to remain strong. She had to wait just a few more minutes and then she'd be home free. Lana would be gone, and all would be right again in her life. Chloe stood still as Lana threw herself at her again. "I'm really going to miss you."
Chloe patted her back awkwardly and gave Jason as wavering smile. "I'm sure I'll see you soon."
Lana tucked some of her hair behind her ears and nodded. "Oh, sure. I'll come back for holidays."
Chloe filed away a mental note to not be in Smallville when those times rolled around. "Well, look at the time."
All three of them turned toward the clock hanging on the wall. Jason cleared his throat and spoke up. "Time to go."
He threw an arm around Chloe and hugged her to his side. "Be good."
A chuckle from the doorway had them all looking over toward Lex. "I'm not sure 'good' is a word that Miss Sullivan recognizes all too well."
Chloe fought the grin and the want to clap her hands and jump up and down. Just yesterday she'd confided in Lex that she wanted Lana to go back to Paris, and now she.... Chloe's head whipped around toward Lex. His stance was casual as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks and stared at her evenly. Her lips parted in a sly grin, one in which he returned.
Lana hugged Chloe one more time then waved to Lex as Jason dragged her out the door.
Chloe smiled and moved toward Lex. When she came to stand right in front of him, she looked up at him and thanked him. "Thank you, Lex."
Lex's brows raised as he stared down at her and then swept through the room. "Was Lana going somewhere."
Chloe didn't take her eyes off of him. Instead she leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "That was the best Christmas present I've ever gotten."
Lex put a hand on her shoulder and reached into his pocket with the other, taking out a white and red striped candy cane. "I also got you this."
Chloe took the candy cane and twirled it between her fingers. "It's perfect."
Lex smiled down at her and then moved his hand to the small of her back to lead her out of Lana's previous apartment. "I'm glad you approve."
Chloe grinned all the way out the apartment until Lex stopped and pulled the door closed. He turned to find her looking down at the candycane, frowning. "Is that one mocking you, too?"
Chloe shook her head and looked back up at Lex. "No, I was just thinking of all those poor french people being subjected to Lana's crappy artwork."
Lex laughed as he led Chloe down the stairs. "A small price to pay, Chloe. Small price."
And she had the best Christmas ever.
The End
Author: Blaire023
Rating: Pg13/Humor
Summary: Chloe gets into a confrontation with a mall Santa.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the WB and DC. Kris Kringle probably belongs to someone else too. But I control the strings, mwahahaha, dance puppets, DANCE!
Archival: FF.net, N-S.net, S&D, and Bald Truth 2. If you want it, take it. You don't have to ask me.
Part 1: Holiday Fever
Chloe rolled her eyes as Lana pulled up short at another shop window. No matter that she'd nearly run into her half a dozen times, following too closely behind, and no matter Lana had yet to find the perfect Christmas present for her boyfriend, Jason. Chloe was partly surprised at Lana's about-face. One second she'd been cool and calculating, the next they were at one of the largest malls in the nation, and Lana had reverted back to her old ways. She'd even spotted the brunette sighing wistfully over a pale pink sweater. Chloe had promptly taken action and pulled her as far away from the offensive garment as possible.
And now she was tired. Tired of walking around four flights of shops. Tired of window shopping for Lana and not being able to actually go into the shops to do any shopping of her own. The trip to Metropolis had been planned, just poorly. They were supposed to be catching up on lost time. Chloe'd been presumed dead for a little over three months, and Lana'd been away in Paris over the summer. Both of their lives had had a dramatic impact on each of them. For instance, Chloe soon came to realize that she couldn't depend on her friends, and while she'd been in touch with Lex, he'd still kept his distance, and she'd had to fend for herself. She'd matured quickly and within a week had been twice as self sufficient.
Lana, however, claimed to have matured, and Chloe could still remember the first and last comment she'd made about Jason to Lana. They'd been sitting in Lana's room above the Talon after some bizarre situation where she, Lana and her cousin, Lois, had all been possessed, and Chloe had commented on why Clark was always the center of everyone's attention, when Jason was just as good looking. Lana had shrugged and smiled and moved busily about the room putting away supplies that looked like they'd been used in the spell that had caused said possession. It was no secret to Lana that Chloe had lost her virginity the summer before last when she'd gone to Metropolis. But Chloe was more than surprised that Lana and Jason hadn't been intimate. Lana claimed that they were intimate, just not having sex. Chloe had snorted out loud. Poor Jason.
As Lana led her into yet another shop, something twinkling caught Chloe's eye. Her head turned in the same direction and she found herself staring over at the mall's 15 foot Christmas tree, complete with ornaments the size of her fist and blinking lights tangled around each limb. But it was the red and white striped candy canes that snagged her interest. Chloe's stomach growled as she eyed the sweet treat. There wasn't a coffee shop anywhere near their corner of the mall, and she feared chocolate wouldn't hit the same spot a nice minty candy cane would. Mmmm, sugar. Lana was still rambling when the loud speaker sounded.
"The Mall will be closing in fifteen minutes." crackle, crackle. "Please collect your purchases and make your way to the nearest checkout, and Thank you for Shopping at The Metropolitan Mall. Located right in the heart of the world's biggest little city, Metropolis." Chloe winced as she heard Lana's shriek from inside the sports shop she'd wandered off into.
"It's perfect!" Chloe turned around to see Lana running straight for the checkout lady, who wore a look of horror on her face at the exuberant on-coming brunette.
Chloe stood patiently outside the sporting goods store, waiting for Lana and occasionally letting her gaze drift over to where the last of the kids in line to see Santa were quickly dropped on the fat guy's lap and were rushed to spit out what they wanted for Christmas. She could hear each 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' as Santa asked whether each individual child had been naughty or nice. Each jolly jiggle of his belly more forced than the last. And all the while Chloe felt bad for the big guy. Although he was probably earning a decent wage. The guy had to get peed on atleast once a day from frightened, or overexcited children. He had to get better than the minimum pay.
Chloe was still mentally debating the pros and cons of seasonal work when Lana came out of the store with her shopping bag held high. "I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner."
Chloe turned toward the excited brunette with arched brows. "Whadya get?"
Lana lowered the bag and opened it with a flourish. "A football!"
Chloe felt the grin tug at the corners of her mouth and tried to hold back a laugh. Poor Jason, indeed. Instead of commenting on the lack of originality for the present she tilted her head toward the towering Christmas tree. "Think I'd have to sit on Santa's lap for a candy cane?"
Lana followed the direction of her eyes and shrugged. "I don't know, why?"
Chloe grinned at her mischieviously and trudged ahead, following the winding rope path to get to the end of the shortened line. When she caught up with the end of it, there were two kids in front of her. The little boy standing beside his mom right in front of her turned around and eyed her owlishly. "You're too big to see Santa." He gasped.
Chloe shook her head. "You're never to big to see Santa, and besides, I just want the candy cane."
The mother in front of her put her hand on her child's head and redirected his attention back to where Santa was. Chloe shifted from foot to foot, impatiently waiting for her turn to tell the mall Santa what she wanted for Christmas.
After ten long minutes she was finally up next. Chloe gaped in disbelief as the guy in the Santa suit stood up and turned his back on her. When his elves started packing up she stomped her foot and cupped her hands around her mouth. "What about me?"
Santa turned around and looked at her, then after confering with his minions waved her forward. He sat back down with a sigh and pat his knee. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" He ground out between clenched teeth. "What would you like for Christmas...."
Chloe cut him off with her hand chopping through the air beside her face. "Nuh, uh. First off, you're Santa, so get rid of the attitude. Secondly, there's no way in the north pole I'd sit on your lap, and thirdly, you didn't even ask if I've been naughty or nice." Under her breath she added, "Imposter."
Santa Claus stood up and brushed the legs of his red velvet pants with his white gloves, then leaned in toward the blonde chick in front of him. "You listen to me, you little snot nosed brat. I've been here since 6 am, I've got a fat suit on under two pounds of thickly lined velvet because pillows just don't cut it anymore. I've had kids cough on me, cry on me, throw up on me, freak out on me, and at least once a day I get pissed on. So why don't you and your flighty little friend," He pointed over to where Lana was standing with her millions of shopping bags and a patented blank smile on her face, "get the hell out of my mall and go bother some other Santa Claus." After he finished growling out his sentence Chloe glared right back at him and without thinking about it her hand whipped out and she pulled his glasses off his face. Holding them out of his reach, she grinned evilly at him.
"All I want is a candy cane, I've been here since the mall opened this morning, I've been dragged through every store here, atleast twice, while my flighty little friend," She pointed with the stolen spectacles over at Lana, "has rambled on and on about how blow jobs don't count as losing your virginity. Do I care if she swallows? No! Do I care about how great her boyfriend is and that I'm *still* alone? No! Do I care if she finds her wonderful boyfriend who loves her so much he doesn't mind if she doesn't give him a peice of ass the best fucking Christmas gift ever? NO! I can't say I do. All day I've been walking, dodging old people with walkers, mothers in strollers who can give a shit less if they run over your toes with their fifty pound toddler riding shotgun, and doing my damndest at pulling little miss slut-slut away from everything and anything pink since it's now the new black. Do I look like a woman who needs to take shit from a stupid little mall Santa Claus? NO!!!!" Chloe's tirade ended on a whoosh of breath. She knew from experience her face was bright red, and by the way the Santa imposter was staring at her, she knew her face was as red as his velvet lined outfit. She tossed him his glasses, and then sucked in a deep breath, "Now give me a fucking candy cane!"
The Santa stared at her for a few seconds before shaking his head and muttering under his breath about crazy broads. Chloe watched in ire inspired awe as he lightly shoved an elf out of his way. "I'm not getting paid enough for this crap." He grumbled and Chloe saw red. He wasn't just ignoring her and her rant. He wasn't going to give up the candy cane. Chloe felt her nostrils flare as rage consumed her and she flew at the Santa, knocking him down and into a stack of presents almost as tall as herself. The empty cardboard boxes, wrapped with Christmasy paper came tumbling down on top of them. She got a hold of a boot buckle just as something hard smacked her in the back of her head. She heard voices, but barely over her own harsh breathing as she grabbed for a velvet pantleg and pulled hard, bringing the Santa down on top of her and a few empty boxes. A bow poked her in the eye and a black boot swung out at her just as she raised her hands in front of her face. A second later Chloe was hauled up out of the mess by the back of her shirt. Her arms still swinging at the Santa standing only a few feet away from her.
"Chloe." An arm wrapped around her stomach and lifted her off her feet, the momentum carrying her backward with the solid body still behind her. "Chloe."
"Let me at him." She mumbled then when she saw the Santa look up at her she screamed, "GIVE ME MY CANDY CANE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"
Lex's warm breath fanned across her ear as he laughed softly behind her. She sure did have a mouth on her. "Chloe, stop it, you're kicking me."
Her heel struck his shin again and she craned her head around to look back at the person holding her captive. Her hazel eyes connected with gray-blue ones and she felt the heat drain from her face. "Shit." She groaned and closed her eyes even as Lex laughed again.
"CRAZY BITCH!"
Chloe's eyes popped back open at the sound of the harrassed Santa's voice.
"I'M GONNA HAVE YOU ARRESTED!"
Chloe groaned again and settled down, allowing Lex to gently lower her feet to the floor. When she had calmed he kept on arm across her stomach and leaned his chin on her shoulder, putting his face right beside hers. "Should I call my lawyer?"
Chloe squeezed her eyes shut and grumbled under her breath and Lex decided he had never laughed as much in one day as he had in all his life.
Part 2: Holly Jolly Holidays
Chloe sat completely quiet in the passenger seat of Lex's porsche. She really wanted to ask him about a million questions about the hot ass ride she was currently seated in, and would eventually like to weedle a test drive out of him, but she figured he'd done more for her tonight than anyone ever had. After being led to the Metropolis Mall Security's office, Lex and Lana had had to wait outside while she was grilled about why she had attacked Santa in the first place.
Which had been incredibly embarrassing when she'd started to list the possible reasons why she had had experienced temporary insanity. Of course Lex had agreed with her prior to her questioning by security that shopping with Lana could indeed make any number of people insane. He still couldn't understand how a candy cane had ended up being the reason for her slip up, but the fact that he could still hear her mumbling under her breath about the damn candy cane's mocking her, brought a smile to his face, which he deftly tried to hide.
"What are you smiling about?"
Lex breathed in through his nose and pressed his lips together, shaking his head. "The candy cane's mock you?"
Chloe grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. "They do. All I asked for was a candy cane and all of a sudden Santa tries to molest me."
Lex had in fact seen most of the exchange leading up to the wrestling match and he had heard her tell Santa he was a pervert, something about sitting on his lap. Lex could feel his cheek muscles getting a work out as he tried to keep a straight face.
Silence fell between them once again and Lex had just managed to control his quivering lips when Chloe sighed and leaned her head against the cool window pane of the passenger's side door. "I hate the holidays."
Lex arched a brow and said nothing. He didn't like them that much either. For one, his family wasn't exactly like the Norman Rockwell paintings. His father had always been away on business and his mom had filled in the holes. After her death, any holiday or birthday seemed completely empty. And secondly, he hated shopping. He didn't have many people to shop for, but the ones he did, weren't very close to him. Lex kept quiet as he heard Chloe shift in her seat. Her sigh nearly echoed through the confined interior of his road toy.
Lex breathed in slowly through his nose, inhaling her perfume. His mouth watered, a pavlovian experience he had nearly every time he stood too close to her. Lex glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, was partially amused, and slightly frightened at the half smile she was aiming his way.
"What?"
Chloe let her grin widen and kept her gaze steadily on Lex. "What do you want for Christmas, Lex?"
Lex narrowed his eyes on the road thoughfully. "I want a lot of things, Chloe."
Chloe uncrossed her legs, leaning towards him in her seat. "Know what I want?"
The muscles in his abdomen tightened, as well as the muscles in his thighs. "Sure."
Chloe smiled candidly and folded her hands in her lap. "You won't laugh?"
Lex arched a brow and looked over at her playfully. "Would you like to me guess?"
Chloe sat quietly for a moment before looking out the window. "If I could get one thing for Christmas, no strings attached, I'd ask for Lana to go back to Paris."
She held her breath, waiting for Lex to start asking questions. When he did nothing she chanced looking over at him, was surprised to find him pursing his lips in silence. The look of concentration on his face stirred something in her. She felt compelled to explain herself. "It's not that I don't like Lana. She's a great girl. But when she's around it just feels like something's holding me back. Like I'm suffocating. Like I'm drowning in a sea of a million shades of pink."
Lex tried not to laugh as her voice raised, as her arms swept out, as her ramblings went even further.
"Pink." Chloe shook her head and stared out the window, her hands both fisted tightly on her lap. "Fucking pink. Oh, I'm too good for pink. I'm gonna wear black. And then do you know what she told me earlier?" Lex realized this was a rhetorical question and chose to only clench his jaw shut even tighter. His cheekbones were already starting to ache. "Pink is the new black." Chloe turned her whole body to face his and grabbed at her hair, pulling gently but firmly. "Pink is the new black? Pfffffft!"
Lex couldn't hold it in anymore. With the derisive sound she had just made, he let loose and laughed, loudly. Chloe jerked back in her seat and stared. When Lex was finished he shook his head. Chloe stared at him openly, gawking at him. "You're even crazier than she is."
Lex looked over at her and nodded. "You really want Lana to go back to Paris?"
Chloe sighed and leaned her head back on the head rest of the seat, closing her eyes and concentrating on a soft hum of the tires on the road. The soft purr of the engine as they drove. "More than anything on the face of the Earth."
Lex grinned to himself. He could probably have that arranged.
***
Chloe stared at Lana as she threw her things into two suitcases, both black with pink zippers. "I thought you said art school wasn't your thing."
Lana twirled around and squealed. "I know. I didn't think it was either." In went another pair of black boots and a black top. "But they called me and told me that my art was so good that they were putting it on display in this museum. They want me to come back to school, and I told them I couldn't really afford it and they said it was on a scholarship."
Chloe's eyes had glazed over when Lana had begun to speak. Just the natural twill and nasal tone of her voice sometimes caused Chloe to black out hour long conversations. "That's amazing."
Lana nodded as she giggled and came toward Chloe to pull her into a hug. "I know it's Christmas morning, but the school administrators said I have to be there as soon as possible or the scholarship will go to someone else." Lana pulled back and smiled, tears shining in her big round eyes. "I'm going to miss this place." She hugged Chloe again. "I'm going to miss you."
Chloe rolled her eyes over Lana's shoulder and smiled as Jason walked into the room. "We're late as it is, come on."
Lana zipped up both of her suitcases and tied a pink sweater around her waist. "I left some things behind, help yourself." Then her bottom lip started to tremble and Chloe fought the urge to bolt out of the nearest exit. She had to remain strong. She had to wait just a few more minutes and then she'd be home free. Lana would be gone, and all would be right again in her life. Chloe stood still as Lana threw herself at her again. "I'm really going to miss you."
Chloe patted her back awkwardly and gave Jason as wavering smile. "I'm sure I'll see you soon."
Lana tucked some of her hair behind her ears and nodded. "Oh, sure. I'll come back for holidays."
Chloe filed away a mental note to not be in Smallville when those times rolled around. "Well, look at the time."
All three of them turned toward the clock hanging on the wall. Jason cleared his throat and spoke up. "Time to go."
He threw an arm around Chloe and hugged her to his side. "Be good."
A chuckle from the doorway had them all looking over toward Lex. "I'm not sure 'good' is a word that Miss Sullivan recognizes all too well."
Chloe fought the grin and the want to clap her hands and jump up and down. Just yesterday she'd confided in Lex that she wanted Lana to go back to Paris, and now she.... Chloe's head whipped around toward Lex. His stance was casual as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks and stared at her evenly. Her lips parted in a sly grin, one in which he returned.
Lana hugged Chloe one more time then waved to Lex as Jason dragged her out the door.
Chloe smiled and moved toward Lex. When she came to stand right in front of him, she looked up at him and thanked him. "Thank you, Lex."
Lex's brows raised as he stared down at her and then swept through the room. "Was Lana going somewhere."
Chloe didn't take her eyes off of him. Instead she leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "That was the best Christmas present I've ever gotten."
Lex put a hand on her shoulder and reached into his pocket with the other, taking out a white and red striped candy cane. "I also got you this."
Chloe took the candy cane and twirled it between her fingers. "It's perfect."
Lex smiled down at her and then moved his hand to the small of her back to lead her out of Lana's previous apartment. "I'm glad you approve."
Chloe grinned all the way out the apartment until Lex stopped and pulled the door closed. He turned to find her looking down at the candycane, frowning. "Is that one mocking you, too?"
Chloe shook her head and looked back up at Lex. "No, I was just thinking of all those poor french people being subjected to Lana's crappy artwork."
Lex laughed as he led Chloe down the stairs. "A small price to pay, Chloe. Small price."
And she had the best Christmas ever.
The End
