Post by Blaire on Sept 26, 2005 7:22:26 GMT -5
Title: Numb
Author: Blaire
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Don't own it, and if I had the money to own it, I'd probably be too excited to do anything but stand there and stare.
Archival: Go for it...connect four.
Summary: Chloe feels the pressure and can only count on one person to alleviate it.
Numb:
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
Chloe slipped out of her normal wear of jeans and tshirt and into a long silk nightgown, the hem of lace brushing her ankles and the tops of her feet. Slowly she lowered herself to her bed and ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes fluttering shut from pure exhaustion. Sighing heavily she slipped beneath the comforter and sheets of her bed, to lose herself in her own world, one she could do anything, be anything.
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
Lex scrubbed his hands over his face, willing the throbbing pain in his temples to dissolve. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into the mirror over the marble counter of his bathroom sink. Still he had no idea of what he saw when he looked there at his reflection. Surely it wasn't anything of grand importance. Not when he couldn't filter his own thoughts out of his mind and concentrate on what he had to do. Or try to figure out how to go about getting it done.
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
Chloe walked the halls of Smallville High, looking neither to her right nor her left. She was sure the snickering sound came from her peers standing by their lockers. Not that any of them would come forward and say what was on their mind. Not one of them had the balls to confront her on the numerous rumors. No matter none of the even struck close to the truth. No matter the picture of her and Lionel Luthor meeting privately in the park had struck a chord, and no matter how private the meeting had been planned, it had looked as if he were inches from kissing her, when he'd simply been leaning toward her to whisper something in her ear.
But she didn't care about her classmates, or her teachers. The only person she could care about right now was herself. And even then a layer of numbness had spread over her body. Shutting her emotions from one range to the next.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
Lex had less than a month to turn the crap factory around and make a discernable profit out of fertilizer. It wasn't going to be an easy task, he knew that, but if the timeline that had been set for him was as much of a challenge as he'd expected, it also meant his father wasn't backing down. No matter what the profits cost him, he'd take it that next level. He would undoubtedly become the scion of the Luthor fortune. And within that limit, he strove toward perfection. He could afford nothing less. Even as a blonde head walked briskly past his office door he gave no second thought to who it might belong to, his attention was purely focused on the task at hand.
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
Chloe raised her closed fist and knocked softly yet authoritively on her father's office door. When his voice answered her and allowed her entry she pasted a smile on her face, the cheeriest one she could conjure up and waltzed into his office as if nothing could be better. She'd seen the paper spread across his desk a moment before his eyes met hers. And the scrutiny she'd ignored all day was thrust back at her full force.
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
Lex passed his plant manager's office without a backward glance. It wasn't until he heard Gabe's voice raised at an octave he'd never heard it at before that he halted. Retracing his steps he put one hand on the doorjamb of the closed door and listened intently as rage met rage. He'd never given thought that Gabe could be so cold hearted. But even as he heard an open palm slap against aged oak echo off the walls, he took it to mean he was merely on the phone. Although he didn't precisely know Chloe Sullivan on anything more than a level of acquaintance, he'd known the extent of what the spunky blonde would go to in order to get a story. Figuring single parenting was a lot harder than anyone gave credit to, he turned from the door and started back down the hall, away from the raised voice, and toward his own meddling parent.
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
Chloe listened to her father's rant and nodded at all the important parts. Whatever he was feeling toward her right now, didn't even come close to what she was going through. He always thought she was stupid when it came to directing her own life. Sure she'd chosen her own path of reporting. She'd made a name for herself by interning over the summer. And as soon as one undeniable mistake was laid upon her head everything she had worked so hard for, everything she had fought herself for, was erased.
Leaving her father's office, thoroughly scolded and chastised, she fought back tears of regret. Remorse that came to her only second handed. Eyes prickling with the need to be closed once and for all, for an eternity, stayed alert, aware of their surroundings. Through the lobby entrance of the plant, through the parking lot, and back toward home. Only when she was in the comfort of her bed with her blanket pulled over her and the blinds blocking the natural light out of her room, did she give in to shedding the tears that warred with her emotions. She cried for herself, for her misgivings, wrongdoings, and for her father. For never being able to be to perfect daughter she knew he wanted.
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take
Lex leaned back in his leather chair in the boardroom, listening intently to the ideas flying around him. The one person that hadn't spoken on the matter was Gabe Sullivan. And as soon as his plant manager stood and took the floor, Lex let his mind wander back to the one sided conversation he'd overheard today. What it must be like to have a father who so blatantly cared about your safety, who worked his ass off day and night to provide for not only his only child, but her friend as well. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he wandered what the blonde spitfire had done to raise her father's hackles. And what it would be like to live vicariously through some of the stunt's she got away with pulling.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
Chloe fisted her hands and leaned her elbows on the table, the impending article on the subject of school uniforms haunting her. What did she care if she had to wear the same thing every day. She was already living a life she had no intentions of being able to keep up with.
***
Lex Luthor sat in his office on the third floor of his sprawling estate, and stared at the picture in front of him. He wasn't one for tabloids or reading up on the latest soceity features in the newpapers he had delivered to him from Metropolis. Although he'd made Smallville his home, and he rarely ventured past it's small town limits, he occasionally traveled for a benefit or charity function. Always pertaining to business. But this...
***
Sighing, she pushed her hair back out of her face and continued typing up the pros and cons of uniforms for Smallville High. Writer's block fell over her all of a sudden and she realized she'd been sitting in the same spot for well over three hours. Squinting her eyes shut to lessen the pain of staring at a computer screen for so long, she decided it was time to take a break.
***
He walked into the Talon, paying no mind to the people that still, even after two years of his residence here, looked curiously his way. Perhaps it had to do with the rumors of the blonde sitting tucked away in the back of the coffeeshop he partially owned. Still, he ignored her presence, not purposely, and made his way to the counter, where he ordered his usual and waded through tables to find one tucked safely away. Although he appeared his calm, cool, collective self, what he really wanted to do was stick out his tongue at all the people that stole glances his way. No matter how childish the move would be, it would be one that would internally satisfy him. Giving up on adolescent misgivings, he decided instead, to sit back, and unload the papers from his breifcase. Hoping to get some work done, with the white noise echoing around him.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
Chloe rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck, hoping to relax herself a little more. When her phone rang, she checked the number, and noticing it was Lionel's, turned her ringer to silent and let it vibrate away in her bag. She couldn't deal with it tonight. Not after her father's preaching, and the casual looks tossed her way, when she headed back to the counter, and a hand swatted her bottom, she ignored it. Stupid jocks, she mumbled to herself. It wasn't until she felt the hard line of a body pressed up behind her, and a hand resting on her stomach that she reacted and her elbow struck back into the ribs of said jock.
***
Lex's brows raised as a boy that had approached Chloe suddenly doubled over, gripping his side and muttering swear words. His eyes fixed intently on her, watched her roll her eyes and return to the counter with her mug for a refill. He looked at where she had been sitting and sweeping his papers together, he dumped them unceremoniously back into his breifcase, carrying his mug in one hand, he made his way through the throng of tightly packed tables and sat down as she made her way back.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
Chloe looked up from her mug as she walked towards her abandoned table and groaned out loud when she saw Lex sitting there. As soon as she sank down in her seat she found a long lost smile and plastered it on just for him. "Luthor." She sipped at the steaming brew in her mug, holding it with both hands.
"Chloe." he answered companionably and mimicked her actions by raising his mug in mock salute before bringing it to his lips.
Her phone vibrated once again and she shook her head softly, Lex watched with fascination as her hair fell in wisps around her face and she used one hald to shove them out of her way. "Well, I've got to get back to school." She commented as she stood and started packing her things away.
Lex turned and looked behind him, the glass double doors hinting at just the beginning of dusk. "It's getting dark."
Chloe looked down at him, her ministrations abruptly stopping. She looked up at the doors and smiled down at him. "Well, yeah." She laughed softly to herself. Just like Luthors to quote the obvious.
Lex stood and clutching his breifcase in one hand, followed her out to her as she made her hasty retreat. When she opened the door and looked back at him, it almost caught her off guard that he was following her. "Can I help you?" She couldn't keep the cocky sound of her voice.
Lex's brow raised in defiance. "I'll just walk you to your car." Chloe furrowed her brows and looked up at him. Shrugging, she decided it didn't really matter. He was probably thinking of the time she took that nose dive out of his window.
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
When Lex stopped her from getting into her car by playing his hand on her driver's side door, she smiled and looked up at him questioningly. "Are you in trouble, Chloe?" The way his eyes trailed her facial features she sighed and scrubbed her hands over her face.
"Really, I'm fine, Lex."
Lex stared down at her for what felt to her like an uncomfortable ammount of time, although it was no longer than a few seconds. Nodding he let his hand fall to her door handle and he opened it for her. After Chloe was settled into her seat and she had buckled herself in, he took a card from the inside pocket of his coat, where he scribbled his private line on the back along with his cell phone number. "Don't hesitate to use this."
Chloe looked at the card, her eyes narrowed. Taking it from him gently she twirled it between her fingers before shoving it into the side pocket of her bag. "Yeah." She answered and put the car in gear. Lex stood back on the sidewalk and watched her drive away toward the school. If he had to make an educated guess, he'd say she wouldn't use it anytime soon, if she used it at all.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
Chloe removed her bag from her shoulder and ignored the incessant buzzing of her phone from where it rested near the bottom. Rolling her neck, she took out the business card Lex had provided her with and set it down on her desk, right beside her keyboard. The sound behind her had her turning around to face the doorway. And she hadn't been prepared to see him standing there, holding the cellphone that was still ringing up to her line of vision. "Ignoring your duties, Miss Sullivan?" Lionel questioned smoothly.
Her fingers itched to touch the card suddenly. Instead she smiled his way and stood to wait for him to make the next move.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
When midnight rolled around and Lex was still sitting in his office, his mind kept returning to Chloe and the haunted look in her eyes. He'd left her company at 7, nearly five hours before. He hadn't expected her to call him, but it bothered him that she hadn't. He'd thought for a fleeting moment that perhaps once his numbers sat there, taunting her, she'd possibly give in and reach for a phone. Knowing she hadn't, only served to annoy him more.
Grabbing his coat and his keys he headed down the stairs and out to his car. He'd swing by her house to make sure she got home safely. If she wasn't there, she'd most likely be at the school still.
***
When he pulled into the school parking lot and saw her car parked in the student parking lot, he immediately looked up to the window with the muted light. He'd just pay her a short visit, he thought to himself. What he didn't expect was to see her sitting there, at her desk, with the black eye and bloody lip, her hands gripping her hair, and her body wracked with silent sobs. His first thought was that of the jock earlier who'd grabbed her at the Talon.
When he whispered her name, she winced and immediately began getting her stuff together. "Wow, it's late." She said and kept her back to him. "I guess I just didn't..." She broke off as Lex's hand gripped her shoulder and spun her to face him. His eyes drinking in every contour of her face. "Lex..." She started pleadingly and then was shocked to stiffness as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him closely. Her hands sought possession as they twisted in the back of his silk shirt, she didn't protest when he started shushing her and whispering her name into her hair. Her bruised skin rubbed against the smoothness of his shirt and she sobbed, clutching him to her, afraid to let go.
Suddenly she didn't feel as numb.
The End
Author: Blaire
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Don't own it, and if I had the money to own it, I'd probably be too excited to do anything but stand there and stare.
Archival: Go for it...connect four.
Summary: Chloe feels the pressure and can only count on one person to alleviate it.
Numb:
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
Chloe slipped out of her normal wear of jeans and tshirt and into a long silk nightgown, the hem of lace brushing her ankles and the tops of her feet. Slowly she lowered herself to her bed and ran her fingers through her hair, her eyes fluttering shut from pure exhaustion. Sighing heavily she slipped beneath the comforter and sheets of her bed, to lose herself in her own world, one she could do anything, be anything.
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
Lex scrubbed his hands over his face, willing the throbbing pain in his temples to dissolve. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into the mirror over the marble counter of his bathroom sink. Still he had no idea of what he saw when he looked there at his reflection. Surely it wasn't anything of grand importance. Not when he couldn't filter his own thoughts out of his mind and concentrate on what he had to do. Or try to figure out how to go about getting it done.
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
Chloe walked the halls of Smallville High, looking neither to her right nor her left. She was sure the snickering sound came from her peers standing by their lockers. Not that any of them would come forward and say what was on their mind. Not one of them had the balls to confront her on the numerous rumors. No matter none of the even struck close to the truth. No matter the picture of her and Lionel Luthor meeting privately in the park had struck a chord, and no matter how private the meeting had been planned, it had looked as if he were inches from kissing her, when he'd simply been leaning toward her to whisper something in her ear.
But she didn't care about her classmates, or her teachers. The only person she could care about right now was herself. And even then a layer of numbness had spread over her body. Shutting her emotions from one range to the next.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
Lex had less than a month to turn the crap factory around and make a discernable profit out of fertilizer. It wasn't going to be an easy task, he knew that, but if the timeline that had been set for him was as much of a challenge as he'd expected, it also meant his father wasn't backing down. No matter what the profits cost him, he'd take it that next level. He would undoubtedly become the scion of the Luthor fortune. And within that limit, he strove toward perfection. He could afford nothing less. Even as a blonde head walked briskly past his office door he gave no second thought to who it might belong to, his attention was purely focused on the task at hand.
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
Chloe raised her closed fist and knocked softly yet authoritively on her father's office door. When his voice answered her and allowed her entry she pasted a smile on her face, the cheeriest one she could conjure up and waltzed into his office as if nothing could be better. She'd seen the paper spread across his desk a moment before his eyes met hers. And the scrutiny she'd ignored all day was thrust back at her full force.
can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
Lex passed his plant manager's office without a backward glance. It wasn't until he heard Gabe's voice raised at an octave he'd never heard it at before that he halted. Retracing his steps he put one hand on the doorjamb of the closed door and listened intently as rage met rage. He'd never given thought that Gabe could be so cold hearted. But even as he heard an open palm slap against aged oak echo off the walls, he took it to mean he was merely on the phone. Although he didn't precisely know Chloe Sullivan on anything more than a level of acquaintance, he'd known the extent of what the spunky blonde would go to in order to get a story. Figuring single parenting was a lot harder than anyone gave credit to, he turned from the door and started back down the hall, away from the raised voice, and toward his own meddling parent.
cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
Chloe listened to her father's rant and nodded at all the important parts. Whatever he was feeling toward her right now, didn't even come close to what she was going through. He always thought she was stupid when it came to directing her own life. Sure she'd chosen her own path of reporting. She'd made a name for herself by interning over the summer. And as soon as one undeniable mistake was laid upon her head everything she had worked so hard for, everything she had fought herself for, was erased.
Leaving her father's office, thoroughly scolded and chastised, she fought back tears of regret. Remorse that came to her only second handed. Eyes prickling with the need to be closed once and for all, for an eternity, stayed alert, aware of their surroundings. Through the lobby entrance of the plant, through the parking lot, and back toward home. Only when she was in the comfort of her bed with her blanket pulled over her and the blinds blocking the natural light out of her room, did she give in to shedding the tears that warred with her emotions. She cried for herself, for her misgivings, wrongdoings, and for her father. For never being able to be to perfect daughter she knew he wanted.
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that I take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second I waste is more than I can take
Lex leaned back in his leather chair in the boardroom, listening intently to the ideas flying around him. The one person that hadn't spoken on the matter was Gabe Sullivan. And as soon as his plant manager stood and took the floor, Lex let his mind wander back to the one sided conversation he'd overheard today. What it must be like to have a father who so blatantly cared about your safety, who worked his ass off day and night to provide for not only his only child, but her friend as well. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he wandered what the blonde spitfire had done to raise her father's hackles. And what it would be like to live vicariously through some of the stunt's she got away with pulling.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
Chloe fisted her hands and leaned her elbows on the table, the impending article on the subject of school uniforms haunting her. What did she care if she had to wear the same thing every day. She was already living a life she had no intentions of being able to keep up with.
***
Lex Luthor sat in his office on the third floor of his sprawling estate, and stared at the picture in front of him. He wasn't one for tabloids or reading up on the latest soceity features in the newpapers he had delivered to him from Metropolis. Although he'd made Smallville his home, and he rarely ventured past it's small town limits, he occasionally traveled for a benefit or charity function. Always pertaining to business. But this...
***
Sighing, she pushed her hair back out of her face and continued typing up the pros and cons of uniforms for Smallville High. Writer's block fell over her all of a sudden and she realized she'd been sitting in the same spot for well over three hours. Squinting her eyes shut to lessen the pain of staring at a computer screen for so long, she decided it was time to take a break.
***
He walked into the Talon, paying no mind to the people that still, even after two years of his residence here, looked curiously his way. Perhaps it had to do with the rumors of the blonde sitting tucked away in the back of the coffeeshop he partially owned. Still, he ignored her presence, not purposely, and made his way to the counter, where he ordered his usual and waded through tables to find one tucked safely away. Although he appeared his calm, cool, collective self, what he really wanted to do was stick out his tongue at all the people that stole glances his way. No matter how childish the move would be, it would be one that would internally satisfy him. Giving up on adolescent misgivings, he decided instead, to sit back, and unload the papers from his breifcase. Hoping to get some work done, with the white noise echoing around him.
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
Chloe rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck, hoping to relax herself a little more. When her phone rang, she checked the number, and noticing it was Lionel's, turned her ringer to silent and let it vibrate away in her bag. She couldn't deal with it tonight. Not after her father's preaching, and the casual looks tossed her way, when she headed back to the counter, and a hand swatted her bottom, she ignored it. Stupid jocks, she mumbled to herself. It wasn't until she felt the hard line of a body pressed up behind her, and a hand resting on her stomach that she reacted and her elbow struck back into the ribs of said jock.
***
Lex's brows raised as a boy that had approached Chloe suddenly doubled over, gripping his side and muttering swear words. His eyes fixed intently on her, watched her roll her eyes and return to the counter with her mug for a refill. He looked at where she had been sitting and sweeping his papers together, he dumped them unceremoniously back into his breifcase, carrying his mug in one hand, he made his way through the throng of tightly packed tables and sat down as she made her way back.
I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
Chloe looked up from her mug as she walked towards her abandoned table and groaned out loud when she saw Lex sitting there. As soon as she sank down in her seat she found a long lost smile and plastered it on just for him. "Luthor." She sipped at the steaming brew in her mug, holding it with both hands.
"Chloe." he answered companionably and mimicked her actions by raising his mug in mock salute before bringing it to his lips.
Her phone vibrated once again and she shook her head softly, Lex watched with fascination as her hair fell in wisps around her face and she used one hald to shove them out of her way. "Well, I've got to get back to school." She commented as she stood and started packing her things away.
Lex turned and looked behind him, the glass double doors hinting at just the beginning of dusk. "It's getting dark."
Chloe looked down at him, her ministrations abruptly stopping. She looked up at the doors and smiled down at him. "Well, yeah." She laughed softly to herself. Just like Luthors to quote the obvious.
Lex stood and clutching his breifcase in one hand, followed her out to her as she made her hasty retreat. When she opened the door and looked back at him, it almost caught her off guard that he was following her. "Can I help you?" She couldn't keep the cocky sound of her voice.
Lex's brow raised in defiance. "I'll just walk you to your car." Chloe furrowed her brows and looked up at him. Shrugging, she decided it didn't really matter. He was probably thinking of the time she took that nose dive out of his window.
I'm becoming this
all I want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you
When Lex stopped her from getting into her car by playing his hand on her driver's side door, she smiled and looked up at him questioningly. "Are you in trouble, Chloe?" The way his eyes trailed her facial features she sighed and scrubbed her hands over her face.
"Really, I'm fine, Lex."
Lex stared down at her for what felt to her like an uncomfortable ammount of time, although it was no longer than a few seconds. Nodding he let his hand fall to her door handle and he opened it for her. After Chloe was settled into her seat and she had buckled herself in, he took a card from the inside pocket of his coat, where he scribbled his private line on the back along with his cell phone number. "Don't hesitate to use this."
Chloe looked at the card, her eyes narrowed. Taking it from him gently she twirled it between her fingers before shoving it into the side pocket of her bag. "Yeah." She answered and put the car in gear. Lex stood back on the sidewalk and watched her drive away toward the school. If he had to make an educated guess, he'd say she wouldn't use it anytime soon, if she used it at all.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
Chloe removed her bag from her shoulder and ignored the incessant buzzing of her phone from where it rested near the bottom. Rolling her neck, she took out the business card Lex had provided her with and set it down on her desk, right beside her keyboard. The sound behind her had her turning around to face the doorway. And she hadn't been prepared to see him standing there, holding the cellphone that was still ringing up to her line of vision. "Ignoring your duties, Miss Sullivan?" Lionel questioned smoothly.
Her fingers itched to touch the card suddenly. Instead she smiled his way and stood to wait for him to make the next move.
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
When midnight rolled around and Lex was still sitting in his office, his mind kept returning to Chloe and the haunted look in her eyes. He'd left her company at 7, nearly five hours before. He hadn't expected her to call him, but it bothered him that she hadn't. He'd thought for a fleeting moment that perhaps once his numbers sat there, taunting her, she'd possibly give in and reach for a phone. Knowing she hadn't, only served to annoy him more.
Grabbing his coat and his keys he headed down the stairs and out to his car. He'd swing by her house to make sure she got home safely. If she wasn't there, she'd most likely be at the school still.
***
When he pulled into the school parking lot and saw her car parked in the student parking lot, he immediately looked up to the window with the muted light. He'd just pay her a short visit, he thought to himself. What he didn't expect was to see her sitting there, at her desk, with the black eye and bloody lip, her hands gripping her hair, and her body wracked with silent sobs. His first thought was that of the jock earlier who'd grabbed her at the Talon.
When he whispered her name, she winced and immediately began getting her stuff together. "Wow, it's late." She said and kept her back to him. "I guess I just didn't..." She broke off as Lex's hand gripped her shoulder and spun her to face him. His eyes drinking in every contour of her face. "Lex..." She started pleadingly and then was shocked to stiffness as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him closely. Her hands sought possession as they twisted in the back of his silk shirt, she didn't protest when he started shushing her and whispering her name into her hair. Her bruised skin rubbed against the smoothness of his shirt and she sobbed, clutching him to her, afraid to let go.
Suddenly she didn't feel as numb.
The End
